Keep My Eyes Above the Waves (October 11&12 2014)

~the fam~

Every single year at my school, we have a retreat by grade. For the past 3 years, my grade just goes to the gym at school and we have guest speakers and small groups and do meaningless activities. They aren't ever much   fun because you are put into a random group, and with my luck, it's usually with people I don't necessarily care for. This year, senior year, our class went to Tall Timbers, a campground with cabins and a cafeteria and a meeting hall.

~take it in~

I'm gunna have to admit, people weren't that stoked about it. Once we got there, we loaded our bags into the cabins we chose and headed towards the cafeteria where they served us nasty food. I feel bad for saying it, but no one really ate it because it was that bad. The ice cream was good though! We went into the meeting hall so they could sing and try to get us excited for the overnight "come to Jesus" trip. Well, it worked. Later that night, we all sat down in a huge circle in the meeting hall for an "activity". We all got seven little colored pieces of paper. Our spiritual leaders instructed us to tear out a small heart from each piece of paper while they explained what each heart meant. Each time they explained a heart, we had to get up and go give it to someone fitting the description. For the first one, we had to give it to someone who makes us laugh or who we just enjoy spending time with. Madelyn walked right up to me and handed me her heart, simply smiling and saying "here Sadie." She was so gentle and quiet, it made me so happy, that I instantly started crying. I gave her the biggest hug imaginable. 

~journaling~

With everything going on in the past few months, it meant so much for her to give me hers. She went and sat back down silently while I went and handed my heart to Nikki, and by no surprise, she was already crying too. We hugged each other so tight that my ribs hurt and I could barely breathe. We went and sat back down to wait for the second heart to be explained and torn out. Mrs. Davis walked up to me with a box of tissues, motioning for me to grab one...almost the entirety of tissues fell out onto me, so she laughed and whispered, "keep them". The second heart was for someone you look up to, or someone that has something you see in them that inspires you. So of course, I walked right up to Madelyn, hugging her again, so hard, telling her that I love her. Madelyn is one of those people that I can't ever afford losing. She's so ecstatic when she's in a good mood and doesn't care what anyone thinks about her. Even though she doesn't exactly know it, I have always looked up to her. These past few months have been so crazy, and as difficult as it is to admit, the group is slowly getting scattered around, drug apart, then back together. It's all so confusing. Madelyn's been drifting apart from us, for several reasons. And the worst of it is that we've all tried so hard to make it stop. But life just gets really hard and there's only so much you can do. I've tried so hard to show her how much I care, but nothing I do can ever be enough, and I mean that in the least offensive way possible. Anyway, onto the third heart, for someone you want in your life as you grow. I gave mine to Celine. She is such a good inspiration, and our personalities are quite similar, we think the same way about things. The remainding of the hearts were announced and given out/received. I still have all of mine shoved in my notebook. The rest of the night was spent with everyone. We had a serious heart-to-heart with the entire group. The girls and I all went back to the cabins and ate candy and talked and laughed and overall, it was an amazing time.

~never forget~

Soon after, we had to meet back up in the meeting hall. The entire grade was dancing and singing and having an awesome time. It seemed as though, just for that short weekend, everyone got along. No one cared what your social status was. No one cared what your hair looked like. No one cared how loud you sang or how high you jumped. It was truly an amazing experience, one that I will cherish forever. Yeah sometimes I dislike my grade and how people act, but other times, I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.